My first born is almost 20. I got pg when I was 16, had her when I was 17. That was all it took for me to become enthralled with fertility, pregnancy and child birth. I've had 6 vaginal births and 3 c sections, no vbacs. My vaginal births were all induced. If I would've known then what I know now...such is life, right? The one time (read beautiful!) I did go into labor on my own, it was with my 2nd surrogate son. It was amazing, intense but not painful like my pitocin inductions. That labor landed me my 1st c section. The baby's heart rate declined about 15mins after my epidural...why I got the epidural? Because I was afraid of the pain to come, as if I could predict the future. OB was afraid of a placental abruption. Not sure why he thought this but I have my suspicions. No oxygen, I had to ask for it, they didn't tell me to turn to my left, I asked them if I should. They didn't turn off the epidural to see if that was the problem. No hands and knees position as I could still move my legs, they said no. They took no attempt at trying to resolve the issue, straight to an emergency c section. All I remember is them racing me down the hall, the wind from their speed blowing my hair and looking at the lights flickering by. Within mins baby was out, I couldn't process what the heck was happening. All I could think was this couldn't possibly be me?! I don't have c sections, I have stellar pg's, labors and deliveries and I had the history to prove it! I had PTSD from that delivery.
When I got pg with another little one of our own, the 1st thing out of my OB's mouth was, "your a perfect candidate for a vbac". I went through the entire pg knowing I was going to have vbac. At 38wks my OB decided I was too much of a liability to have a vbac. My uterus might rupture, my baby might die, the hospital has rules and insurance policies, ect. I was labeled and I didn't know it. Instead of a line for c section scars it should say, "c section patient - vbac too risky *signed 90% of OB's in the U.S.".
When I got pg again, OB said, "Your a good candidate for a vbac, although the risk for rupture goes up but not much". I met with a couple of midwives but for a reason or another they just didn't work out. My husband and I banded together and agreed that vbac was safest and we'd attempt an unassisted birth. I was determined to not have another section, it was completely unnecessary! At 36wks I told my OB our intentions, that I would not be scheduling a section, that I was going to attempt to go into labor on my own. He called me reckless, irresponsible, radical, stupid, unsafe. He asked what I could be thinking wanting to do such a thing. He persuaded me to schedule a section but if I decided at the very last minute to decline the section, I could. All of sudden he was "understanding", "supportive", willing to work with me, compromise. Considering I was stupid and reckless for even considering going into labor on my own. How could I pass up such a deal. He led me to believe I had a choice. It was nothing short of emotional blackmail. Making me think that I was lower then scum and then sweeping in to be my hero in 'supporting' me, knowing that at MY request I could have my baby the 'safest way possible' if I just showed up at the schedule time of my section. I had my family pressuring me to schedule, my uneducated husband thinking that the OB was right, a section was the safest way...on and on. Who am I? Just a radical, reckless mom to be who was putting my child in danger otherwise. So how could anyone turn down a section?! So c section #3 came to be. That recovery was painful and long. From after birth to months later I was having pain in the lower part of my abdomen about a week before AF would show up. It was a dull ache. Something just wasn't right. Later I would find out just how wrong everything would be.
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